Some .......... "News"

So I've haven't written in a while, nearly two months.

Why you ask, why indeed well where to start...

In December we got the "-----" news that our son is Autistic, diagnose with "Autism Spectrum Disorder" - The reason I left that space blank before news is there so many words I could put there.

The most obvious on is Bad news - but I don't think I like that term, as my son went into the Doctors office the same way he came out of it - he hadn't changed that always been a part of him, so it can't be "bad" as that would make some part of who he is bad and he's just fantastic.

I could use "informative" but that wouldn't sum it up either as being told your child has autism is information of a type.  It's helpful you are a name round it, but then you realize you have no real knowledge and are woefully under informed on the subject.

The internet has been helpful and especially the National Autistic Society but it's not the whole story and you have to do the leg work. You get told about these organisation but then you have to leave the Doctors office come blinking into the light and have to do something when frankly the first thing you want to do is cry.

I could have used the word "Harsh" or "Unfair" as it is a bit harsh to get this news, at the time really I felt really unfair why us, actually more why me. What did I do to deserve this. Like the universe had it in for me especially even though it my Son who is suffering - luckily the unfair thoughts wore off quickly as just looking around the world my life is anything but unfair.

I could have used the word "Painful" as a bit like harsh it hurts, it was like being winded. You feel the pain but as the wind is knocked out of you, so you can't express the feelings within.

I could have used the word "confirmed" news, as anyone with a Autistic child before the diagnosis knows there is something wrong, my son is a brilliant little boy but not in the same way as the other children in his nursery. As he's my first and currently only child to me all his quirks seem sort of normal in the closed setting of our living room but in a room full of other children you can see he's walking his own path.

I could of said "Hard" news as it will be hard as there is help out there but the world is set up for the standard (I nearly said normal but I hate that word as no one is truly normal) world and if your world is different it will be harder to engage and access the same things. For example my son doesn't look at people when they're talking to him, he can hear them fine but without the standard social convention of eye contact most people give up.

Now I'm not having a go about that as it is a social convention and even now when I'm talking to someone and they look at their phone I do think I'm sure they're not listening to me. But I do talk crap most of the time so not really their fault.

So it will be hard as I will need to make concessions, plan more for even simple activities and will have to engage on a higher level with services like Schools, institutions and social activities to make sure he is getting the most out of life.

Being a parent is hard so extra challenges just add another layer of hardness - not that it's not worth the all the extra effort.

That's why I'm just going to leave the statement as just plain old "News".

As it will be hard it will be painful it will be harsh at times, but it also will be brilliant, amazing, wonderful and ultimately so worth it.

I am a strong mumma bear and my disabilities have sometime been hard to over come but I over came and I am a better person for it. So I know the challenges my son will face in his lifetime he will over come and will go to shape him into an even more amazing person.

So from now on my blog like me will be altered - it will still have food, Disney, dyslexic, dyspraxia and general life stuff but will now have a new addition of Autism - I hope to learn and pass on knowledge I find out and be a record of our little journey through life.

Who knows he could be reading this while siting in his Prime Minister office or the set of his next block buster or in the middle of nowhere search for a new species of newt.

He has so many possibilities and so much to see and do and I know that it is my job to make sure his Autism is never an reason for him not achieving - so woe betide anyone who says he can't do that or he's not capable of... as they will have do deal with an angry dyslexiccook lol